


i'll share in your suffering (to make you well)

by projectoverlord



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Dubious Science, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Seriously Questionable Science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 12:22:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2428616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/projectoverlord/pseuds/projectoverlord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mack has been gone three days, and it was a two-day mission. Fitz doesn't worry. Much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'll share in your suffering (to make you well)

In the three days since Mack left on a two-day mission, Fitz has been waiting (maybe a _little_  impatiently) for his return. And perhaps he may have shouted at a few scientists who were trying to talk to him...and tried to spend a whole day hiding in his room eating donuts he stole from Hunter.  
  
That does not mean anything beyond he likes donuts and doesn't like Hunter.  
  
Maybe he does miss Mack just a little bit though.  
  
And it was only supposed to be two days. Mack had assured him (numerous times, in fact, which has nothing to do with the fact Fitz kept implying he needed assurance and everything to do with Mack deciding that he needed assurance) that it would only be two days.  
  
So why has it been three?  
  
It plagues his thoughts, which are scattered enough after his discovery of the so-called Asset. He could barely focus as it was, and now there's this. When Mack gets back he is going to get a piece of Fitz's mind about inflicting this kind of mental distraction.  
  
" _Skye_ ," says a voice on the other side of the wall. A voice that sounds like Coulson. "You can't do this.'  
  
"Is that an order, _sir_?"  
  
Fitz sidles up to the wall to get a better position for eavesdropping. Not that he's eavesdropping. That would be inappropriate and wrong. He just needed...that particular thing there, hanging on the wall. And Skye and Coulson just so happen to be on the other side of this particular wall.  
  
"Mack specifically requested that Fitz be left out of this."  
  
Okay, _now_  he's eavesdropping. But he heard his name so that makes it not wrong. That is the rule. That's definitely the rule.  
  
"Are you seriously going to trust that those idiot scientists can fix this on their own?"  
  
"Regardless, Fitz is too close. He's been recovering, Skye, he's finally making progress. We have no idea what a stressful situation like this could do to him."  
  
Fitz can imagine the look on Skye's face as she snaps, "No, but we know  _exactly_  what it will do to Mack if we do nothing."  
  
All the blood in Fitz's body runs cold. They can't be implying...because if that were the case...no. Unless...they're keeping things from him again, and this time it sounds like Mack is in danger.  
  
He's out the door and round into the corridor before he's registered that his feet are moving. Phil turns and his face falls.  
  
"What-what's happening to Mack?"  
  
Skye opens her mouth but is cut off by a stern look from Coulson. He shakes his head and points. "Go and tell Mack that we'll be there in a moment. Be sure to emphasize that it was your decision to disobey his request."  
  
Fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, Fitz watches Skye leave and then looks worriedly at Coulson.  
  
"Fitz, Mack was captured by Hydra soldiers. He's been released with some kind of explosive device surgically implanted into his ribcage. We can't figure out a way to remove it without setting it off."  
  
"I-I should have been...been," he trails off, furious and desperate for the word.  
  
"I know, Fitz, but there were concerns that it would be too traumatic for you at this stage in your recovery."  
  
"I'm not made of glass! I want to help. Take...take me to Mack."  
  
"Come with me."

* * *

Whatever preparation he tries to make on the way, it is not enough. Nothing could truly prepare him for walking through a door and finding Mack lying on a hospital bed with a blinking red light in his chest. Fitz stops, stares, then shakes his head and runs back into the hallway. He paces back and forth frantically. Leaning against a wall, he pinches the bridge of his nose. There is a pounding noise that he belatedly realises is his own heart. There are words that he doesn't recognise he's saying. A volley of _no, no, not now, not him_ falls from his lips.  
  
He's not fragile but he is damaged, and the thought that his insufficiency might cost Mack his life is too much to handle.  
  
It sneaks up on him. At first his chest feels just a little too tight. Then it becomes hard to breathe. Suddenly he's fighting just to inhale, and the world is swimming in front of him.  
  
"Fitz, hey Fitz, c'mon Turbo, talk to me."  
  
Mack is there, Mack is holding his shoulders. He grasps the other man's arms and shakes his head, and he can't _breathe_.  
  
"Listen to me, you are going to breathe with me. Just follow my lead, man," Mack says.  
  
Fitz hears him breathe in, and forces his body to imitate the action. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. And slowly he feels the tightness in his chest subside. He takes a deep breath just to remind himself that it's possible, and then he stares at Mack.  
  
"You told them not to tell me," he says accusingly.  
  
"Yeah I did. There are other scientists, no need for you to worry about little old me."  
  
Worrying is all Fitz has done for three days. He stole Hunter's donuts and hid in a blanket for 24 hours, he was bloody well _worried_  already.  
  
He makes a face that he hopes conveys this to Mack.  
  
"You shouldn't have to worry about this with everything you've got going on."  
  
"That's my...my...that's my decision!" he retorts heatedly.  
  
"You're right," Mack says, smiling tightly. "Not gonna lie, Turbo, I'm a little worried myself. So anything you can think of...that'd be great."  
  
Gazing at the blinking red dot, Fitz feels a ghost of the tightness in his chest. He stares at the device. Every flash seems like a taunt directly aimed at him. As though Hydra did this to torment _him_ , to get to him. It's a selfish thought, but he can't shake it. After everything Hydra has cost him, it seems par to the course for this to happen.  
  
His hand lifts, hovers over the device, then he thinks better of it and lets it drop.  
  
"I...I need to find a way to disable it. If we can't turn it off, it's too dangerous trying...trying to take it out."  
  
"Okay, you have a plan to do that?"  
  
"Not exactly."

* * *

Mack follows him to the lab and takes a seat while Fitz immediately goes to work. The light is visible even through the fabric of Mack's shirt. Fitz ignores it, focusing on the simulations running on his tablet.  
  
"Electrical pulse too...too dangerous," he muses, "could cause damage to the heart, and...and set off the device."  
  
Simmons is there, suddenly, hovering next to Mack and staring at him. "Perhaps some kind of biological or chemical attack would be more effective.'  
  
"No, no," he mumbles, too caught up in his own simulations.  
  
"It would be a shame if he were to die," Simmons says to nobody in particular. "I did always like him."  
  
"Shut up!" Fitz shouts.  
  
Mack blinks at him. "Wasn't saying anything."  
  
"Not you," he whines, glaring at Jemma because clearly this is her fault. Or his fault, rather, since she's just...no, it's definitely her fault. Somehow, it is. He diverts his attention to the rudimentary scans of the explosive device.  
  
At that moment, it hits him. "Biological...biological...that's it!"  
  
"You got an idea brewing in there?"  
  
Fitz can barely type in the parameters fast enough to get the simulation running. His fingers fly across the tablet. He murmurs to himself as he goes, dropping entire words from his sentences but filling in the blanks with his fingers. At last he hits run, and then he waits.  
  
 _SIMULATION SUCCESSFUL_  
  
He looks up. Then he holds up the tablet and shoves it towards Mack, who breaks into a grin. "Knew you could do it, Turbo. What's the plan."  
  
"You die," he says.  
  
"That's the plan?" Mack says in disbelief. He doesn't look particularly thrilled by the plan.  
  
Fitz nods. "Confuse the sensors, make it think it's already...already detonated. We take it out, bring you back. Yes...yeah...this will work."  
  
"You can't just use an ICER?"  
  
"No."  
  
Mack takes a deep breath. "Well, okay then. Let's kill me."  
  
"Save...save you," Fitz amends.  
  
Reaching out, Mack grasps his shoulders and chuckles. "Yeah, Turbo. Let's save me."  
  
He touches Mack's hand, which is still on his shoulder. Shifting, Mack brushes it against his neck, then squeezes gently. "Thank you, Fitz."  
  
Fitz blushes, and leans into the hand that's warm against his neck.

* * *

They won't let him near Mack while the operation is in progress. There's some bollocks about traumatic imagery, and he's left outside waiting. He paces while Tripp, Skye, Coulson and May watch him. He ignores them, frantically counting the seconds until they should be done. Until the lack of oxygen to the brain would cause...he closes his eyes and forces the thought away.  
  
If his idea left Mack damaged... _but it won't_. But if it does?  
  
The door opens. Fitz practically leaps at the man who emerges.  
  
"We successfully removed the device and resuscitated the patient," the doctor tells them. "We are now waiting for him to wake up. Would one of you like to be present when that happens?"  
  
"Fitz," Skye says, her expression brooking no argument. "Fitz will be there."  
  
"Come with me," the doctor says, addressing Fitz.  
  
Mack looks cold, and dead, but Fitz can see the gentle rise and fall of his chest. There is a vicious line of sutures on his chest, but it's better than what was there. Again Fitz itches to touch, but reins the urge and instead settles for sitting and fidgeting. The device is out, but until Mack is awake and talking he can't breathe easy. Not until Mack talks and Fitz knows there's no damage.  
  
He doesn't think he can handle it if there is.  
  
"Please," he whispers, "please don't be...don't be like me."  
  
There is no response, only the hiss of breath and the soft beeping of the monitors. Fitz stares at the jagged but consistent pulse line, trying to convince himself it's real.  
  
"That crazy plan of yours work?"  
  
If there are tears, they're all Mack's. They are definitely not Fitz's. And if their hands clasp, it wasn't Fitz who did it.  
  
But the kiss...that was Fitz all the way. Mack kisses back, though, which makes it far better.

* * *

Fitz wakes to the sound of running water and singing. Terrible singing. There are many things that Mack is skilled at - this is not one of them. Fitz loves it. It's his favourite way to wake up in the morning, and Mack knows it.  
  
A smile creeps onto his face. He rolls over and buries his face in the other pillow, taking in Mack's scent.  
  
"Don't think that you're allowed to go back to sleep," Mack calls. His head pokes out from the bathroom. "Get your ass in here."  
  
 _Oh the hardship_ , Fitz thinks with a grin as he drags himself out of bed. He sheds clothes in a haphazard trail all the way to the shower. Stepping into the cubicle, he finds himself under the warm water pressed against Mack's wet, naked body.  
  
Definitely a life he could get used to.  
  
"Good morning," Mack says, leaning down and capturing his lips.  
  
"Morning," he replies, fingers brushing the almost-healed scar on Mack's chest. He rests his forehead against Mack while the other man's fingers massage his neck. A noise of contentment escapes his lips.  
  
Soon he knows he'll have to face the world, but right now he's here in his own personal universe.  
  
He's damaged, but he's happy. And it's enough.  


**Author's Note:**

> I've been stuck in a creative rut for so long, unable to write anything without feeling as though I'm pulling nails. But I've found myself again, and finally writing feels right again. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading; I certainly enjoyed writing this. Thank you!


End file.
